Campaign Chronicles

Not much happens in in Fort Wayne, Indiana . In fact, there are so few diversions that the town consistently ranks in "The Top Five Most Boring Towns in the United States" lists. It is because of this that a visit to Louis Gardner's combination miniature golf and petting zoo qualifies as a pretty wild night on the town. Or at least that's what Martin Davis was hoping when he picked Patty Johnson up for a date on a Saturday night. Martin's plan was a simple one: impress Patty with his golfing skills and then woo her with the adorable animals at Putt Putt Pet. There was just one slight problem. Patty was a masterful golfer but Martin had never made it past that cursed windmill obstacle on the second hole. He needed help. So, early Saturday morning he paid a visit to Ursula Tsoros, a woman rumored to be a gypsy living in a garishly painted Volkswagen van often parked on the banks of the St. Mary River, to beg for her help. At first, she refused but Martin was so pa