Campaign Chronicles

As I was driving for work the other day, a rogue thought popped into my head. What if Bigfoot was just a Big Foot? Like, a giant foot just wandering the wilds of Faerûn or the Feywild or even the Pacific Northwest. No body. No larger creature it was attached to. Just a foot. Well, wonder no more! Big Foot CR: 3     Large Aberration     HD: 5d8+20 (44 hp) Init: -1     Spd: 40'     AC: 15 (–1 size, -1 Dex, +7 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 15 Attacks: (BAB +3; Grap +11); +7 Stomp: 1d6+5 (20/×2) or +7 Bite: 1d8+5 (20/×2) Special Attacks: Trample (1d6+7) Special Qualities: Blindsight 30', Tremorsense 60', Woodland Stride Align: N     Saves: Fort +5, Ref +0, Will +4 Str: 21, Dex: 8, Con: 19, Int: 12, Wis: 10, Cha: 8 Skills: Speak Common and Sylvan; Hide +3, Knowledge (Nature) +7, Listen +8, Move Silently +7, Survival +6 (additional +2 in aboveground natural environment...

Normally, this would be the type of thing that makes it into an " Odds and Ends " post but since I have neither enough " Odds " nor " Ends " to make one, here we go... For the  eating contest my playes participated in, I determined the results of the contest with a series of Constitution checks, adding up the results as I went. Any contestant who failed would either get sick, choke, or pass out and would then be eliminated. The second contest was an event they were meant to observe and  judge . And that's fine because it is relatively safe to say that Competive Eating rarely comes into play in most D&D, or any other game, campaigns. But what if it did? What if a player wanted his character to make his living by traveling from town to town, engaging in eating contests as a way of life? What if the summer camp they are attending is having a competition against the fancier, more-upscale camp on the other side of the lake and you have to rally an ecl...

My brother-in-law brought his kids (4 and almost 1½ years old girls) over to play this weekend. One of the toys they brought with them was a little (18") red plastic refrigerator. The little one was playing and the fridge fell on her. She lay there on her back, eyes wide, wriggling and trying to get out from under this thing (which she did before I could even hop up to help her) but that got me to thinking about people who are killed by vending machines and that led to this.... Homicidal Vending Machine CR: 5     Large Construct      HD: 4d10 plus 30 plus 3 (58 hp) Init: -4     Spd: 5' (can't run)     AC: 15 (-1 size, -4 Dex, +10 Natural); t: 5, ff: 15 Attacks: (BAB +3; Grap +15) ; +8 Slam: 1d6+8 SA: Crush SQ: Construct Traits, Darkvision 60', Low-Light Vision, DR10/Adamantite Align: NE     Saves: Fort +1, Ref -1, Will +1 Str: 26, Dex: 2, Con: --, Int: 2, Wis: 11, C...

Does the existence of the Xenomorph Facehugger imply the existence of a Xenomorph Butthugger?

Despite assumptions to the contrary, the party is Not going to engage in battle with Big Bird. However, having already made Cookie Monster as a character, I thought I would make a D&D version of Big Bird that is in keeping with him as presented on Sesame Street. Big Bird : Muppet male Child¹ CR: 1     Medium Humanoid (Muppet)     HD: 2d8+4 (16 Hp) Init: +1     Spd: 30'     AC: 12 (+1 Dex. -1 size, +2 Natural) Attacks: (BAB +0; Grap +8) ; +3 Unarmed Strike: 1d6+4 nonlethal SA: -- SQ: Muppet Traits Align: NG     Saves: Fort +2, Ref +4, Will -1 Str: 18, Dex: 12, Con: 15, Int: 8, Wis: 8, Cha: 14 Skills: Read/Write and Speak Common; Balance +3, Craft (Visual Art) +2, Diplomacy +2 (additional +2 with children and their parents), Perform (Singing) +6 Feats: Creative (Craft - Visual Arts and Perform - Singing) Gear: Large nest behind the Brownstone at 123 Sesame Stre...

A collection of bits and pieces of things I've had bouncing around in my "to-do" pile... Clown Template  I had originally planned on making Ronald McDonald into an NPC (i am not really satisfied how Grimace turned out but I do still like my take on McDonaldland) like I have done with other mascot characters but, about ten minutes in, completely lost interest and started working on something else. The notes for this template have been sitting in my phone ever since. Clown is an Acquired Template that can be added to any Humanoid, Fey, or Outsider, referred to hereafter as the base creature. The base creature type is unchanged but gains the following: Special Attacks: Frightful Presence, Natural Enemy Special Qualities: Clown Magic, Malleable Form Skills: Clowns gain a +2 racial bonus to Balance, Perform (Buffonery), and Tumble checks. Evil-aligned Clowns also gain a +2 racial bonus to Intimidate checks. • Clown Magic (Sp): At will - Ghost Sound, Prestidigitation,...

I am a Year-Round Shorts Guy. I hate wearing pants. When the mercury in the thermometer starts to travel upwards of 50°F, I start to sweat. If I am not working or attending a more "formal" event like a wedding, I will be in shorts. But this week, the low temperatures were between -25° and -29°F and that was beyond my ability to tolerate for more than just a few minutes at a time. I walked to the gas station across the street last night and there was an older gentleman who saw me and asked specifically if I always wear shorts and I told him pretty much what I just told you. He simply smiled and nodded in seeming agreement, paid for his purchase and left. That got me to thinking and that thinking led to this. "It's not the cold, it's the wind/damp." - common quote from a Year-Round Shorts Guy  Year-Round Shorts Guy is an Acquired Template that can be added to any Humanoid, referred to hereafter as the base creature. The base creature is unchanged but gains th...

I have been seeing a lot of Cookie Monster the Barbarian memes in my Facebook feed over the last week or so. This gave me the idea to stat out the character.  This turned out to be a far more complicated build than I anticipated, I ended up modifying and combining two different versions of the Muppet race, researching Cookie Monster, and because the only spellcasting Muppet I can think of is the Amazing Mumford , changing the Bard class for a Non-spellcasting version. Sidney "Cookie" Monster (a.k.a. Alistair Cookie) : male Muppet Barbarian 3/Bard variant 2 CR: 5     Small Humanoid (Muppet) HD: 3d12+6 plus 2d6+4 (40 Hp) Init: +1     Spd: 40'     AC: 16 (Scale Mail, Light Wooden Shield, +1 Dex), t: 11, ff: 16 (never flat-footed); (-5 ACP, 30% ASF) Attacks*: (BAB +4/Grap +6) ; +7 Greataxe: 1d10+3 (20/×3, used two-handed) or +6 Bite: 1d4 nonlethal      * additional +2 hit/damage during Rage SA...

The kids were watching "The Jungle Book" earlier tonight. I was in the kitchen, half-listening for the songs, when they got to the part of the movie where Bagheera is asking the elephants for their help in finding Mowgli. Colonel Hathi then turns to his troops, gives his orders, and tells them that they will have the "element of surprise."  But that is not what I heard. What I heard was "Elephant of Surprise."  So, here we are. I decided to go with a Chaotic Neutral Fey. I'm envisioning a creature who sneaks up behind you and yells "BOO!" before collapsing in a fit of laughter.  As your party progresses through the woods, the Ranger catches sight of a creature up ahead: an elephant standing upright on its hind legs, hiding behind a tree. You are stunned to realize that if your scout hadn't said anything, you would have walked right past the creature without noticing. The Elephant of Surprise CR: 7     Huge Fey     HD: 11d6+55 (91...

There are several "monstrous" versions of the Turducken out there. This is a more grounded version of the bird as if it were a real-world animal. The Turducken is a medium bird weighing 15 to 25 pounds. It has a large, round body with stubby wings and a fan-shaped tail. Their feet are webbed. Most notably, they have three heads. The center head is that of a turkey, flanked by those of a duck and a chicken. Their diet is varied, consisting of aquatic plants, grasses, small vertebrates like frogs and salamanders, mollusks, and insects. Turducken CR: 3     Small Magical Beast      HD: 5d8+10    Hp: 34 Init: +0    Spd: 10', fly 40' (clumsy), swim 20' AC: 13 (+1 size, +2 Natural), t: 11, ff: 12 Attacks: (BAB +5; Grap-3); +6 Claws: 1d4-4 and +1 Bite: 1d2-4 and +1 2 Bites: 1-4 SA: - - SQ: Darkvision 60', Low-Light Vision, Multiple Heads Align: N     Saves: Fort +5, Ref +4, Will...

I was driving home along Minnesota's North Shore today when "Murder... Mur-Deer" popped into my head today. While you could use the Dire Elk or Legendary Animal template to achieve the same results, I thought I would take a crack at putting stats to the pun. Mur-Deer CR: 6     Large Magical Beast HD: 12d10+72     Hp: 137 Init: +1     Spd: 60'     AC: 16 (-2 size, +1 Dex, +7 Natural); t: 9, ff: 15 Attacks: (BAB +12; Grap +30) ; +20 Gore: 3d6+10 (18-20/×3) or +20 Kick: 3d8+10 (20/×2) SA: Augmented Critical SQ: Darkvision 60', DR5/Mistletoe, Low-Light Vision, Scent Align: N     Saves: Fort +14, Ref +9, Will +6 Str: 31, Dex: 13, Con: 23, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha: 5 Languages: None Skills: Listen +10, Spot +9 Feats: Alertness, Dodge, Iron Will, Mobility, Run, Spirited Charge (b) • Augmented Critical (Ex): The Mur-deer's Gore attack threatens a Critical Hit on natural 18-...

Bear with me for a moment. I'd like to run a game title past you just to get some feedback. Classic Tabletop Role-Playing Games, and fictional works referencing them often fall under the alliterative convention pioneered by Dungeons & Dragons. For example, Castles & Crusades, Bunnies & Burrows, Trolls & Tunnels, Mazes & Monsters, Houses & Humans, amd the list goes on and on appearing in everything from "Bob's Burgers" to "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" and "Borderlands 2". So.... what about "Cattle Mutilations & Crop Circles?" The characters are Martians or Wookies or whatever species E.T.'s race was and their goal is to carry out the aforementioned activities, abductions, probes, and so on while evading the government, UFOlogists, the staff of the National Enquirer, and other interested parties. (I think we all know what happens next - credit to original artist, whoever they may be) Update #1: This morning, one o...

Sometimes, I will pop in my CD of these and sing along, waiting for ... I don't know, inspiration or at least a sense of escape. There are literally dozens, if not hundreds, more but these are some of my go-to tracks. Enjoy! Never Split the Party - I always enjoy the El Dorado, Last Airbender, and Mummy clips... So many versions of this on YouTube, decided to go with the one from the album... My four year old son lives this. He obviously doesn't get the double entendre but he keeps asking for the "loud song". Grim but upbeat! No real commentary here but I like the clip from Dorkness Rising at the end. I feel the pain here... so many dead PCs over the years... Yeeaahhh!!! If you think your group doesn't have a "George", you may be him...

Gisaku Fujita Original Concept Drawing Job Title: Ninja Chef Qualities               Average [+0] Ninja Good [+2] Chef Good [+2] Karaoke Singer Good [+2] Food Safety Poor [-2] Money Mgmt Background: Gisaku Fujita is a chef, like Gisaku Fujita's father before Gisaku Fujita. Gisaku Fujita likes to sing and has terrible impulse control when it comes to spending money. Element: Fire Clan: Five-Fingered Foot Matter of Honor: Gisaku Fujita will always speak of Gisaku Fujita in the third person. Honor Score: 10 Gear Ninja Burger Uniform (bullet-resistant, fire-retardant, and stain resistant – includes ninja mask, tabi boots, and fingerless gloves) Pocket GPS (with screen that displays team member location) Wireless Headset (with built-in camera and microphone) Frying Pan, Spatula, Assorted Spices Gisaku Fujita : Human (male) Ninja 1 CR: 1     Medium Humanoid (Human)     HD: 1d6+1     Hp: 7 Init: +3   ...