Greta the Climate Goblin - Investigation

SATURDAY MORNING

Greta arrived at the television station early and went inside, still shaken be what she saw on her ride home. She found Dusty smoking in the breakroom, a cup of coffee sitting in front of him. Lionel stood by the counter, getting another pot started. Chet walked in behind her, his dog, Ralph at his side. The golden retriever slid his nose under Greta's hand, prompting her to pet him. She obliged, feeling slightly more normal.

"Guys, I want to ask you something," she started. "Have you ever seen anything that wasn't really there?"

Dusty blume out a long plume of smoke. "Kid, I toured with Pink Floyd in the 60s. I have seen lots of $^%@ that wasn't there."

Chet huffed a laugh. Lionel cracked a smile. Greta rolled her eyes. "I'm serious."

Dusty stopped and looked at Greta, studied her. His humor drained away but his tone was still warm, soft. “Yeah,” he says finally. “I’ve seen things that weren’t there.”

Avery folds his arms. “The human brain is a pattern-recognition engine. It will complete partial visual data whether the data warrants completion or not.”

Chet's voice was steady. "What did you see?"

"I... I don't know. A shadow shaped like a man, I guess. And weird reflections," she replied.

Chet nodded, "Where?"

Greta thought about it for a second, "A shadow in the doorway to Studio B, the reflection of a man behind me in the trophy case, another shadow in the cornfields on my way home, and last night, or I guess technically this morning, there was the reflection of a head with... I'm not sure how to describe it... um, like a head with a second face on the back of its head at the bus stop."

Lionel hit "start" on the coffee maker. It puttered to life. "All of these incidents were late at night, after your shows?"

She nodded.

"If you saw something in low light, motion combined with the late hour, it could just be sleep deprivation." Avery told her as he waited on the coffee to brew.

"We can still take a look," Chet added. "It could be someone is pranking you, or stalking you."

Greta's brow furrowed.

Ralph returned to Chet. He patted his dog and told her, "Harold informed us about the quarterback in the parking lot. Could be he doesn't handle rejection well."

Avery clearsmed his throat. “If the phenomenon is reproducible, we can test it.”

Madame Celestine appeared in the doorway like she’d been there the whole time. “Not everything repeats on command.”

Ralph lifted his head and Chet continued to scratch behind his ears absently.

Dusty stubbed out his cigarette and lit another. "We'll go tonight, after your show. We can air a rerun of mine or maybe that blender infomercial again. Not a lot of people up late enough to complain."

LATER THAT NIGHT

Greta walked into view of the camera, smiling slyly and leaned against the fake bleachers she has built for her last show.

"Well, my brackish little beachcombers… there you have it. Laser Lobster vs. the Subterranean Horde. Proof that when mankind pokes the planet with a glowing stick, the planet occasionally pokes back.”

She tilted her head downward ever so slightly and raised her eyes to look into the camera.

“I do appreciate a creature feature where the ‘monster’ is just responding to aggressive drilling and reckless weapons testing. Honestly? Relatable.”

She lowered her voice conspiratorially.

“Let this be tonight’s eco-goth moral: if you irradiate the ocean, don’t be surprised when your seafood develops opinions.”

She glanced toward the floor as if she can hear something burrowing.

"And as for our pale little tunnel tyrants… maybe next time don’t build your apocalypse machine directly under a subway line. Public transit is fragile enough, darlings.”

She straightened, brushing green hair from her eyes.

“Remember, my lovely landfill lurkers — the Earth has layers. So do you. Try not to awaken anything in either without proper ventilation.”

A soft, teasing smile.

“I’m Greta, your Climate Goblin, reminding you to recycle, resist unnecessary atomic experimentation… and be kind to crustaceans.”

She waved to the camera with two lace-gloved fingers.

“Sleep tight. And if you hear scratching beneath your floorboards tonight… it’s probably just infrastructure.”

A pause.

“Probably.”

The Tesla coil hummed. The green glow brightened once — then cut to black.

As soon as Elliot indicated that she was off the air. Greta immediately grabbed her backpack and slings it over one shoulder.

Elliot frowned. "You in a hurry?"

"A little, yeah. Chet and Professor Avery are going to help me try to find something I saw on my way home last night," she replied.

"Greta, it's 2am. Is this the best time for that?" Elliot's face radiated concern.

"It's the only time for it. I never see whatever this thing is during the day."

"Well, I'm coming with you. Just in case" the cameraman grabbed his jacket and followed her toward the door.

When they emerged in the parking lot, they found Dusty smoking next to his van, an immaculate red Ford Ecoline."

"Hey, kid. You ready?" The old ex-roadie opened the side door, revealing Madame Celestine, Max, and Ralph waiting inside.

Max waved. Celestine sat calmly, an infinitely patient beacon in the dome light.

"Guys?" Greta began to ask.

Max shrugged. "The professor said he wanted my help with something."

"And I received a premonition that I need to be with all of you tonight," the psychic added.

Just then, Chet and Lionel came out of the building, each carrying a milk crate of electronic gadgets.

"Do really think we need all of this, Professor?" Chet asked dubiously.

Avery chuckled. "Maybe not. But we do have a portable oscilloscope, an EMF monitor, low-light camera, a couple of flashlights, and an audio spectrum analyzer. If there is something out there, we should be able to document it."

Chet shrugged, "Hell, doc, I just brought a sickle and some hedge shears in case we need to cut a path through the corn."