Orc Tree-Climbing Tank

My kids were watching the D&D cartoon today. On my last watch, I really wasn't paying a lot of attention but today, there was an episode that really stood out. Spoiler Alert for an episode of a TV show that first aired 41 years ago. If you haven't yet seen Episode 17 of the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon, go watch it before reading any further. Everyone else, read on!

In this episode, a band of orcs make repeated attempts to raid a village of Ewoks, err.., I mean Cloud Bears on behalf of Venger in an attempt to capture the kids and their magical weapons.

First, the orcs employed what was essentially a giant-axe version of a battering ram. They pulled back, released, the axe's cutting blade would chop the tree a bit before repeating the process. This attempt was fouled by the kids dumping bowls of fruit onto the orcs from above.

Attempt #2 had the orcs launching ballista bolts with long ropes tied to them up into the trees. The orcs then began climbing the ropes toward the Cloud Bear village. The Cloud Bears prayed for a storm and soon rain and lightning forced the orcs out of the trees.


The orcs' last try involved them driving an armored vehicle with climbing claws for wheels and an extendable boarding platform. They literally DROVE this thing up the trunks of these massive trees. The orcs only stopped when the kids escaped the village in a Hot Air Balloon.

So, my question is... why not skip straight to the tank? It was by far the most effective plan. Was it just too slow. Had it been driving toward the village for hours and hours? Were the first two tries just meant to kill time until the tree-climbing tank got there?

Orc Tree-Climbing Tank
Size/Type: Huge Vehicle
Skill Check: Strength check -4*
Speed: 5', Climb 5' "oared" (Poor Maneuverability)
Overall Hp: 100 (Hardness 10)
Overall AC: 3
Face: 30' l × 10' w
Height: 18'
SQ: Climbing Claws, Boarding Ramp
Crew: 12 (10 "oarsmen")
Weight: 20 tons
Cargo: 900 lbs (mostly the crew's personal gear)
Cost: 50,000 gp

* or Drive -4 if your campaign uses that skill.

The Orc Tree-Climbing Tank is propelled by a team of orcs turning a crankshaft inside the hull of the vehicle. Another orc steers while the final crewman operates the boarding ramp. This ramp has three extendable 10' sections. Additionally, there is some kind of claw on the end that allows it to support itself while extended.
     Crewmen riding on the top deck have partial cover against attacks while those inside have Total Cover.

All size estimations are based on the scene where there are orcs standing on the top deck of the tank. 


Vehicle presented using the format from the 3.5e Arms and Equipment Guide. For earlier editions, I would apply AC and Hp as a large siege tower with the ability to climb 5' per round.

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