Brain Eating Geese
A few years ago, while working at my night job, I watched a flock
of geese descend into the cemetery behind the hotel. Because my brain does weird things, I started
to wonder if the geese could smell the bodies that were buried there (I said my
brain does weird things – don’t judge).
One thing led to another and I eventually arrived at the concept of
brain-eating geese and started putting a “documentary” together in my head.
I now present to you, the Brain-Eating Geese of my Imagination. I hope you enjoy.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Brain-Eating Goose
CR: ½
Neutral Small Animal
Init +1; Senses: Low-Light Vision, Scent
Languages: - -
AC: 13 (+1 size, +1 Dex, +1 Natural); t: 12, ff: 12
HD: 1 (6hp)
Immune: - -
Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +3
Spd: 10’ (2 squares), fly 50’ (average) (10 squares), swim 15’ (3 squares)
Attack: Melee +2 Bite 1d4
Melee +2 Wing Buffet 1d3
Str: 12, Dex: 13, Con: 14, Int: 2, Wis: 13, Cha 7
SA: - -
SQ: Low-Light Vision, Scent
Feats: Great Fortitude
Skills: Listen +3, Spot +3, Swim +11
• Skills: Brain-Eating Geese gain a +10 racial bonus to Swim checks.
Environment: Warm to Temperate Plains and Hills
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Flock (1d8 plus 3d8 Normal Geese)
Treasure: - -
Advancement: Small (2-3 HD)
Brain-Eating Geese were only an Urban Legend until the late summer of 2010. The first verified sighting of these airborne scavengers occurred on September 18th at a small cemetery in northern Minnesota.
Although they bear a strong resemblance to normal Canada Geese, there are a few key physical and behavioral characteristics that allow for differentiation between the two species. These are discussed below.
Brain-Eating Geese are always male. They interbreed freely with Canada Geese although the majority of chicks resulting from such unions are normal female Canada Geese (only 1 in 15 is a male, brain-eating chick).
Whereas Canada Geese are primarily grazers, with some insect and fish supplementing their diet, the preferred food of Brain-Eating Geese is, as their name implies, BRAINS.... Being poor hunters, Brain-Eating Geese scavenge road kill, the leftovers of larger predators and perhaps most disturbingly, Brain-Eating Geese can often be found in cemeteries.
Brain-Eating Geese possess a highly developed olfactory sense which they use to sniff out their preferred food source deep beneath the ground. Once brains have been located, these geese use their shovel-like beaks to unearth caskets containing human remains. Then they saw through the coffins with bony ridges made up of nearly microscopic teeth (similar to those of a catfish) to gain access to the body contained within. Exceptionally long and dexterous tongues are then used to scoop out the brain matter either through existing openings (nostrils and ear canals being preferred access points) or a new opening made with the bony tooth ridges as needed.
Despite their grisly diet, individual Brain-Eating Geese pose little threat to the average adult human. At most a single Brain-Eating Goose is capable of delivering a painful bite which leaves a hickey-like bruise or stunning slap with its wings. However, in times of desperate hunger, a flock will band together to bring down large prey. The first suspected human victim of a Brain-Eating Goose attack was Bjorn Edmundson, a cemetery groundskeeper in Kenosha, Wisconsin in 1996.
Brain-Eating Geese seem to be able to detect Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (Mad Cow Disease) and its human equivalent Creutzfeldt - Jakob disease and will not eat the meat of infected creatures.
AD&D 2nd Edition stats
AC: 9 MV: 3, Fly 18 (C), Sw 4 HD: 1 Hp: 6Saves: PPD: 16; RSW 18, PP: 17, BW: 20, Sp: 19
THAC0: 20
# Att: 1
Dmg: 1d4 or 1d3
Str: 12, Dex: 13, Con: 14, Int: 2, Wis: 13, Cha 7
Wpn Prof: - -
Nonwpn Prof: - -
SA: - -
SD: - -
SZ: S (2” tall)
ML: Unsteady (5-7)
Xp Value: 15
Using Brain-Eating Geese in Your Campaign
Maybe you’re tired of your starting adventurers killing rats in the basements of taverns. Maybe, just maybe, you want to creep your players out by having them stumble across a flock of these creatures feasting on battlefield corpses or bodies found in the darkened alleyways of your world’s dark metropolises. Maybe you are looking for something strange and unexpected to throw off your jaded players who have seen-it-all and done-it-all and looted the t-shirts.
In any case, Brain-Eating Geese are perfectly acceptable opponents for a group of low-level murder hobos who are just starting their adventuring careers. They can be used to fill nearly all of the same roles as any other carrion eater with the added bonus of being an unexpected threat.
I now present to you, the Brain-Eating Geese of my Imagination. I hope you enjoy.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Brain-Eating Goose
CR: ½
Neutral Small Animal
Init +1; Senses: Low-Light Vision, Scent
Languages: - -
AC: 13 (+1 size, +1 Dex, +1 Natural); t: 12, ff: 12
HD: 1 (6hp)
Immune: - -
Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +3
Spd: 10’ (2 squares), fly 50’ (average) (10 squares), swim 15’ (3 squares)
Attack: Melee +2 Bite 1d4
Melee +2 Wing Buffet 1d3
Str: 12, Dex: 13, Con: 14, Int: 2, Wis: 13, Cha 7
SA: - -
SQ: Low-Light Vision, Scent
Feats: Great Fortitude
Skills: Listen +3, Spot +3, Swim +11
• Skills: Brain-Eating Geese gain a +10 racial bonus to Swim checks.
Environment: Warm to Temperate Plains and Hills
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Flock (1d8 plus 3d8 Normal Geese)
Treasure: - -
Advancement: Small (2-3 HD)
Brain-Eating Geese were only an Urban Legend until the late summer of 2010. The first verified sighting of these airborne scavengers occurred on September 18th at a small cemetery in northern Minnesota.
Although they bear a strong resemblance to normal Canada Geese, there are a few key physical and behavioral characteristics that allow for differentiation between the two species. These are discussed below.
Brain-Eating Geese are always male. They interbreed freely with Canada Geese although the majority of chicks resulting from such unions are normal female Canada Geese (only 1 in 15 is a male, brain-eating chick).
Whereas Canada Geese are primarily grazers, with some insect and fish supplementing their diet, the preferred food of Brain-Eating Geese is, as their name implies, BRAINS.... Being poor hunters, Brain-Eating Geese scavenge road kill, the leftovers of larger predators and perhaps most disturbingly, Brain-Eating Geese can often be found in cemeteries.
Brain-Eating Geese possess a highly developed olfactory sense which they use to sniff out their preferred food source deep beneath the ground. Once brains have been located, these geese use their shovel-like beaks to unearth caskets containing human remains. Then they saw through the coffins with bony ridges made up of nearly microscopic teeth (similar to those of a catfish) to gain access to the body contained within. Exceptionally long and dexterous tongues are then used to scoop out the brain matter either through existing openings (nostrils and ear canals being preferred access points) or a new opening made with the bony tooth ridges as needed.
Despite their grisly diet, individual Brain-Eating Geese pose little threat to the average adult human. At most a single Brain-Eating Goose is capable of delivering a painful bite which leaves a hickey-like bruise or stunning slap with its wings. However, in times of desperate hunger, a flock will band together to bring down large prey. The first suspected human victim of a Brain-Eating Goose attack was Bjorn Edmundson, a cemetery groundskeeper in Kenosha, Wisconsin in 1996.
Brain-Eating Geese seem to be able to detect Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (Mad Cow Disease) and its human equivalent Creutzfeldt - Jakob disease and will not eat the meat of infected creatures.
AD&D 2nd Edition stats
AC: 9 MV: 3, Fly 18 (C), Sw 4 HD: 1 Hp: 6Saves: PPD: 16; RSW 18, PP: 17, BW: 20, Sp: 19
THAC0: 20
# Att: 1
Dmg: 1d4 or 1d3
Str: 12, Dex: 13, Con: 14, Int: 2, Wis: 13, Cha 7
Wpn Prof: - -
Nonwpn Prof: - -
SA: - -
SD: - -
SZ: S (2” tall)
ML: Unsteady (5-7)
Xp Value: 15
Using Brain-Eating Geese in Your Campaign
Maybe you’re tired of your starting adventurers killing rats in the basements of taverns. Maybe, just maybe, you want to creep your players out by having them stumble across a flock of these creatures feasting on battlefield corpses or bodies found in the darkened alleyways of your world’s dark metropolises. Maybe you are looking for something strange and unexpected to throw off your jaded players who have seen-it-all and done-it-all and looted the t-shirts.
In any case, Brain-Eating Geese are perfectly acceptable opponents for a group of low-level murder hobos who are just starting their adventuring careers. They can be used to fill nearly all of the same roles as any other carrion eater with the added bonus of being an unexpected threat.
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