Throwback Post - The Meatloaf-Eating Contest
Another Throwback Post to the time when the party was trapped in the Grimmlands. The group had arrived in Spinnenbruch on their way to the Fortress of the Three Pigs on the day of the Festivus Competition. I have edited out the parts that are not directly related to the contest itself but Cedron and Kysek were speaking with Niklas, (who had not even joined the party yet) to learn more about the deadly dungeon that lay ahead of them. Meanwhile, Grotto was catching up with his brother Mormund whom he had not seen in several years.
The top four contestants then moved on to the Airing of Grievances with Charisma checks measuring crowd responses and the top finalist earned the privilege of wrestling with Piotr (of "Peter and the Wolf" fame) for the title of Festivus Champion.
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As the contest begins, our four party members (Shadow, Hansuke, Arthur, and Jamaros) dig in alongside the townsfolk. The men stuff their faces with food and slam one drink after another. Bits of baked meat fly and ale sloshes down beards as they each try to eat and drink faster than their neighbors. Serving boys clear plates and bring more food as the eaters continue to struggle to fill their stomachs. Korbin swoops in, snatching up scraps and swallowing them almost as quickly as the feasters themselves. A man beside Arthur gags as he tries to swallow without chewing and he staggers from the table and vomits on the back of the stage. Another man seated three to the right of Shadow doesn't make it that far and unloads directly onto his plate. Both are escorted from their places and seated out in the crowd.
A handful of competitors simply run out of steam and slow down, forcing themselves to take one bite after another as they run out of room in their bellies. One man who started out incredibly strong, downs more ale than meatloaf and begins to weave dangerously as he swallows what must be his twelfth ale in four minutes. A moment later, he coats his chest and rotund belly with the contents of his stomach and is pulled from his place at the table. Shadow bites into the bland baked meat and chews, trying to swallow and move on as quickly as possible but the dry nearly tasteless meat reminds him of the meals of mushrooms and cave lichens he dined on during his studies at Sorcere, the Mennzoberranzan school of magic. He forces down one bite after another before he stands, says “$#÷% this” and descends from the tables under his own power after being sure to grab his mug of ale.
The men on either side of Jamaros throw up next and Raven's laughter can be heard ringing out, joining with that of the other spectators as the eating competition continues. The mighty Nordheimer shovels in meat by the fistful, having long since discarded his plate and utensils for the simple expediency of grabbing the entire loaf and trying to swallow it at once. His efforts give him an early lead and he engulfs the first two loaves with little trouble but the meat sits heavily in his stomach and he begins to slow, struggling to finish the third and fourth loaf while pouring ale in on top to wash it all down while scarcely chewing.
Hansuke breathes, pacing himself, biting down on his plain, dry baked meatloaf, chewing twice and taking a pull off of his ale to wash the meat down his throat, only to repeat the process a moment later. His concentration is total, his command over his body unparalleled as he pulls ahead of the pack at the far-right table. Three of the men seated with him surrender and another begins to choke and is dragged from the table so serving boys can pound on his back with their tiny fists to loosen up his blocked passageways.
Arthur however, eats like there is no tomorrow. Even though the meatloaf is bland, he scoops down bite and after bite, chewing and swallowing with efficiency. His days of military training come back to him, memories of dried rations, soured and mealy biscuits, and stale water flood into his mind and he has to admit that this tasteless meal is still better than anything he ate during time he spent in the service of his city. He outpaces everyone at his table and even pulls ahead of Hansuke and Jamaros. Bite - - - chew - - - chew - - - swallow - - - bite - - - chew - - - swallow - - -bite - - - chew - - - chew - - - swallow - - - drink - - - repeat. The knight quickly puts all other eaters far behind him.
Jamaros finally gives up, belches loudly and looks around only to discover that he only he and two other men are still seated at his table. Hansuke lasts only a little bit longer before raising his hand to signal that he has finished. When the timer finally runs out of sand, Jamaros has eaten four-and-one-half loaves, Hansuke has made it as far as five plus a few bites and Arthur has set a town record by downing six-and-one-half.
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A handful of competitors simply run out of steam and slow down, forcing themselves to take one bite after another as they run out of room in their bellies. One man who started out incredibly strong, downs more ale than meatloaf and begins to weave dangerously as he swallows what must be his twelfth ale in four minutes. A moment later, he coats his chest and rotund belly with the contents of his stomach and is pulled from his place at the table. Shadow bites into the bland baked meat and chews, trying to swallow and move on as quickly as possible but the dry nearly tasteless meat reminds him of the meals of mushrooms and cave lichens he dined on during his studies at Sorcere, the Mennzoberranzan school of magic. He forces down one bite after another before he stands, says “$#÷% this” and descends from the tables under his own power after being sure to grab his mug of ale.
The men on either side of Jamaros throw up next and Raven's laughter can be heard ringing out, joining with that of the other spectators as the eating competition continues. The mighty Nordheimer shovels in meat by the fistful, having long since discarded his plate and utensils for the simple expediency of grabbing the entire loaf and trying to swallow it at once. His efforts give him an early lead and he engulfs the first two loaves with little trouble but the meat sits heavily in his stomach and he begins to slow, struggling to finish the third and fourth loaf while pouring ale in on top to wash it all down while scarcely chewing.
Hansuke breathes, pacing himself, biting down on his plain, dry baked meatloaf, chewing twice and taking a pull off of his ale to wash the meat down his throat, only to repeat the process a moment later. His concentration is total, his command over his body unparalleled as he pulls ahead of the pack at the far-right table. Three of the men seated with him surrender and another begins to choke and is dragged from the table so serving boys can pound on his back with their tiny fists to loosen up his blocked passageways.
Arthur however, eats like there is no tomorrow. Even though the meatloaf is bland, he scoops down bite and after bite, chewing and swallowing with efficiency. His days of military training come back to him, memories of dried rations, soured and mealy biscuits, and stale water flood into his mind and he has to admit that this tasteless meal is still better than anything he ate during time he spent in the service of his city. He outpaces everyone at his table and even pulls ahead of Hansuke and Jamaros. Bite - - - chew - - - chew - - - swallow - - - bite - - - chew - - - swallow - - -bite - - - chew - - - chew - - - swallow - - - drink - - - repeat. The knight quickly puts all other eaters far behind him.
Jamaros finally gives up, belches loudly and looks around only to discover that he only he and two other men are still seated at his table. Hansuke lasts only a little bit longer before raising his hand to signal that he has finished. When the timer finally runs out of sand, Jamaros has eaten four-and-one-half loaves, Hansuke has made it as far as five plus a few bites and Arthur has set a town record by downing six-and-one-half.
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