I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!

Implacable…
                Relentless…
                                Unstoppable…

He is…

Johnny the Paperboy!

“Four weeks, twenty papers, that’s two dollars.  Plus tip.”

- Johnny Gasparini

This morning, while listening to a review of the Archie Comics horror series on YouTube I got to thinking about the movie “Better Off Dead”.  More specifically, I got to thinking about one of the secondary antagonists of the movie – no, not the race-car brothers or Ricky.  No, I got to thinking about Johnny the Paperboy.  For a twelve year old kid, Johnny is incredibly tough – he’s like the T-800 series of Paperboys.  He is shown plunging off of a cliff for about 8½ seconds of screen time near the end of the film.  Without taking wind resistance or altitude into account, that puts the height of his fall at about 1,029 feet!
 

Not only does he survive the fall, he makes one last appearance as the credits begin rolling, riding his bike across the infield at Dodger Stadium!

Depending on the nature of your campaign, there are several different possibilities that allow him to survive such an ordeal.  The first (and what should be the most common) is pure, blind luck.  People have survived falls from far greater heights but it is exceedingly rare.

A second possibility involves the location of the movie – the town of Greendale.  In the movie, Greendale is located in Northern California.  But who says it HAS to be THAT Greendale?  With a little fudging, Johnny’s Greendale could be the same Greendale that is home to Sabrina Spellman and her aunts.  Maybe he delivers their papers.  Maybe they were concerned that “the nice young man” would be injured on his bicycle and put a protective spell over him.

Or, maybe Johnny has a mutant healing factor comparable to Wolverine’s…or Sabretooth’s…or Deadpool’s… it’s not like they’re all That Uncommon anymore.

It doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that this kid, if used properly, could make an entertaining character in your D&D (or d20 Modern) campaign worlds.

Johnny Gasparini (the Paperboy from “Better Off Dead”)

CR1
Male adolescent Human Tough Hero 1
N Medium Humanoid
Init: +2, Senses: Spot +1
Languages: Read/Write and Speak English
AC: 13 (+2 Dex, +1 class); t: 13; ff: 11
Hp: 15 (1HD)/MAS: 15
Action Points: 5*
Immune: - -
Fort +5, Ref +2, Will -1

Spd: 30’ (6 squares)

Melee +0 Unarmed Strike: 1d3 nonlethal
Combat Gear: - -

Str: 10, Dex: 14, Con: 15, Int: 12, Wis: 8, Cha: 13

SA: - -
SQ: Class Abilities

Feats: Great Fortitude, Toughness (b)
Skills: Balance +4, Intimidate +6, Knowledge (Streetwise) +3, Repair +5, Spot +1
Talents: Second Wind

Height: 5’4”     Weight: 125 lbs.     Hair: Brown     Eyes: Brown

Appearance: Johnny has wavy, medium-length brown hair and a light complexion.  He is typically seen wearing his black leather jacket and a knit cap.

Possessions: Switchblade Comb, BMX Bicycle (Bicycles use all rules for motorized vehicles but substitute Balance for Drive checks), Motorcycle Helmet, Leather Jacket, Knit Cap, Double Canvas Newspaper Carrier Bag

• Action Points: Johnny may spend 1 action point to gain a +1d6 bonus on one d20 roll (but only before the result of the roll is revealed) or to activate a class feature.  He may only spend 1 action point in a single round and once used, they are gone until he is awarded a new one by the Dungeon/Game Master or he advances a level.

• Starting Occupation: Blue Collar: gains Repair as class skills and a +1 bonus to Climb and Intimidate checks; Wealth +2)

•Second Wind: The Tough Hero can spend 1 action point to gain a second wind.  When he does this, he recovers a number of hit points equal to his Constitution modifier.  This talent cannot raise his hit points to more than his starting total.

• Tough Hero Class abilities; Proficient with all simple weapons, gains 1 Talent (Second Wind)

Johnny Gasparini (0^th level Youth)

Climate/Terrain: Greendale
Frequency: Unique
Organization: Solitary
Activity Cycle: Any
Diet: Omnivore
Intelligence: Very (12)
Treasure: Incidental
Align: N
No. Appearing: 1
AC: 8
Movement: 12
HD: 1 (8hp)
THAC0: 20
No. of Attacks: 1
Dmg/Att: 1d3
SA: Nil
SD: Second Wind
Magic Resistance: Nil
Size: M (5’ tall)
Morale: Fanatic (17-18)
XP Value: 35

Incorporating Johnny into your campaign – Just drop him into your story anytime you need a delivery boy of some sort for a local courier service who hires out to deliver messages.  Maybe he’s really good at it, has some early successes and comes to the attention of a covey of witches who place protective spells on him or maybe he’s a favored servant of Hermes (or Mercury or the messenger god of your preference) who is on the receiving end of just a little bit of divine intervention that keeps him from dying.  Johnny could also serve as a source of information in either setting as long as he’s paid. (Most player characters routinely have insane piles of cash laying around so paying him and avoiding his wrath is easy) but let someone slip up, forget and not actually SAY that they are paying him… even if he poses no threat to most player characters, Johnny could start cropping up at the most inconvenient of times and places and causing problems for them.