Dungeons & Dragons and Creeks & Crawdads
I
apologize for posting this before it was ready.
I sat down the other day and hammered out some thoughts but in my rush,
I failed to include any sort of context for my plan to incorporate Creeks and
Crawdads into my ongoing D&D campaign.
“What?” you ask. “These are two entirely different games, two entirely different genres of games. How can you possibly put these two systems together in the same campaign?”
I’m glad you asked. Let’s stop for a moment and look at the “canon” background for Creeks and Crawdads. You, the player, assume the role of barely sentient crayfish after mankind wipes itself out in a full-scale nuclear war.
Yeah…that’s nothing like D&D…
But what if, instead of nukes, we substitute something…magical?
The Mournlands of Eberron after the Last War, the ruins
of Netheril before they were swallowed by the encroaching sands of Anauroch,
the lands of Krynn nearest the spot where the Gods hurled a mountain down upon
Tarsis…
In nearly any campaign world, any of these areas could
serve as a suitable substitute for the radiation-scorched wasteland of
Earth. Also, in nearly any campaign
world, at some point, adventurers are going to need to pass through these
areas.
“But, what does this have to do with anything?” you ask.
Keep your pants on, I’m getting there.
Not so very long ago, I shared an article about the
Play-by-Post campaign that I am running.
In that article, I mentioned that I was going to use EVERY system on my
shelf as part of one large inter-connected campaign. ALL of it. EVERY SINGLE THING. That includes the aforementioned Creeks and
Crawdads.
But how to put them together?
Once again, I am glad you asked.
It should be obvious that a crawdad, even one that has evolved a degree of semi-sentience poses absolutely no threat to even the weakest Player Character, let alone an entire adventuring band that has roamed across the face of several worlds. That’s fine. I really didn’t plan on a pack/school/tribe of crawdads trying to engage a hardened group of veteran adventurers in combat. That would be stupid.
Crawdad
Init +1 Spd:
1’, swim 5’ AC: 19 (+1 Dex, +8 size);
t: 19, ff: 18
Attacks: (BAB +0, Grap -21); +0 Pincers: - -
SA: - -
SQ: - -
Align: N Saves: Fort +2, Ref +1, Will +0
Skills/Feats: - -
Seriously, any hit from any adventurer would kill one of these things and they are totally incapable of causing any harm to an adventurer (barring allergic reactions caused by eating one of them).
My plan, the idea I have been rolling around in my head, is that through happenstance, the crawdads have come into possession of something the adventurers want or need. The item in question fell into a stream and was carried along until it came to rest in the crawdad village. The crawdads have no idea what the item is although it does make a suitable substitute for the rock they were living under. I can even see running a short one-shot adventure where the Player Crawdads discover the item and decide to live beneath it.
Months, nay years, later, the adventurers come along in search of the item. While crossing a stream, one of these semi-sentient crawdads yells at a heavy-footed adventurer to watch where he’s stepping.
A conversation follows along the lines of “YOU CAN TALK?”
“Yes.”
“But you’re a crawdad!”
“Is that what I am? I thought I was Shrimpossible….”
Over the course of the conversation, it is revealed that the crawdads have what the PCs want. A trade is negotiated. One nice, large sheltering rock for one device. There is nothing the crawdads can do to enforce the terms of the trade but that’s neither here nor there. A friendship has been struck between one of the adventurers and the tiny crayfish. This is where we segue into the mental images of bringing Shrimpossible home, buying an aquarium, and stocking it with decorations to make it look like Bikini Bottom.
Plus, there's the (Craw)Dad Jokes...
A guy walks into a restaurant, sits down to order, and asked the waiter does he serve crayfish. The waiter says yes. The guy says 'I'll have a pizza'. He points to a chair and says, 'and a plate of chips for my crayfish friend here.'
Why don’t you see Louisiana crawfish in a supermarket tank with rubber bands around their pincers? Because they’re not big and stupid.
What do crawfish and compound sentences have in common? They have at least two clawses.
How can you tell a male crawfish from a female crawfish? They respond to tail-pinching differently.
SA: - -
SQ: - -
Align: N Saves: Fort +2, Ref +1, Will +0
Skills/Feats: - -
Seriously, any hit from any adventurer would kill one of these things and they are totally incapable of causing any harm to an adventurer (barring allergic reactions caused by eating one of them).
My plan, the idea I have been rolling around in my head, is that through happenstance, the crawdads have come into possession of something the adventurers want or need. The item in question fell into a stream and was carried along until it came to rest in the crawdad village. The crawdads have no idea what the item is although it does make a suitable substitute for the rock they were living under. I can even see running a short one-shot adventure where the Player Crawdads discover the item and decide to live beneath it.
Months, nay years, later, the adventurers come along in search of the item. While crossing a stream, one of these semi-sentient crawdads yells at a heavy-footed adventurer to watch where he’s stepping.
A conversation follows along the lines of “YOU CAN TALK?”
“Yes.”
“But you’re a crawdad!”
“Is that what I am? I thought I was Shrimpossible….”
Over the course of the conversation, it is revealed that the crawdads have what the PCs want. A trade is negotiated. One nice, large sheltering rock for one device. There is nothing the crawdads can do to enforce the terms of the trade but that’s neither here nor there. A friendship has been struck between one of the adventurers and the tiny crayfish. This is where we segue into the mental images of bringing Shrimpossible home, buying an aquarium, and stocking it with decorations to make it look like Bikini Bottom.
Plus, there's the (Craw)Dad Jokes...
A guy walks into a restaurant, sits down to order, and asked the waiter does he serve crayfish. The waiter says yes. The guy says 'I'll have a pizza'. He points to a chair and says, 'and a plate of chips for my crayfish friend here.'
Why don’t you see Louisiana crawfish in a supermarket tank with rubber bands around their pincers? Because they’re not big and stupid.
What do crawfish and compound sentences have in common? They have at least two clawses.
How can you tell a male crawfish from a female crawfish? They respond to tail-pinching differently.
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This really sticks in my craw.
ReplyDeleteLol. Yes. 😀
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