Dr. Doofenshmirtz and the Learn-to-Drive-inator


Until “they” took it off of NetFlix, I watched A LOT of Phineas and Ferb.  I even made a d20 Modern version of Perry the Platypus for the Earth-218 chapter of my campaign.  The other day I got caught behind someone in traffic and found myself growing more and more frustrated, anxiously awaiting the chance to pass them so I could get to where I was going.  That got me to thinking and eventually, my thoughts led me to the following story...


 “Dr. Doofenshmirtz and the Learn-to-Drive-inator”
set-up: Major Monogram dispatches Agent P (Perry the Platypus) to investigate Dr. Doofenshmirtz's latest scheme which involves collecting all of the Driver's Educations Manuals from all of the DMVs in the Tri-State Area.

cut to shot of the exterior of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated...

cut to inside of laboratory: Agent P kicks open the door and enters.

Doof: “Ah!  Perry the Platypus!  How nice of you to stop in!  Please, have a seat!”
Perry sits in the indicated chair and is quickly trapped by seatbelts.

Doof: “Do you like my trap?  I made it from one of Vanessa's old booster seats.  I suppose it is time to tell you about my latest evil plan.  The other day, I had to go to the store for some Almond Brittle but all of these other cars kept getting in my way.  They were speeding, not paying attention, cutting each other off, and texting on their phones and I thought to myself, that they really need to learn how to drive!  So, I invented this!”

(motions to an overly-complicated-looking machine with a satellite dish on top) 

Doof: “I call it the 'Learn-to-Drive-inator'!  After I activate it, everyone will start using turn signals, understand how merging works, and stop following each other too closely!  Traffic will flow smoothly and I will be able to freely move about the TRI-STATE AREA!”

Perry raises one eyebrow

Doof: “Wait.  Why aren't you thwarting me?  Let me take a look at you....” 

(closely inspects Perry the Platypus)

“Hmmmm...no goatee and not a cyborg so you aren't evil... that must mean you think my scheme is actually a good idea!  Well, I am on to you, Perry the Platypus!  You won't trick me into doing a good deed!”

Doof smashes the “Inator”

Perry departs

Cut to scene of Dr. Doofenshmirtz sitting in gridlock traffic.


 Doof: “Curse you Perry the Playtpus!”

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